Little Miss I'll Get Tough

(Don't you worry 'bout me anymore.)

I guess you could say I'm "tough." I've been told several times that people were scared of me when we first met (not sure I necessarily consider that a good thing). I can definitely be a bitch when I want to be, when I have to be, and sometimes without even knowing it. Sometimes (well most of the time) I put up a guard. I'm more one of those people who keeps their feelings inside, until I reach a breaking point and can't handle it anymore.

When I was growing up, I was taught to respect others, work hard at everything I do and I'll be rewarded eventually. And lets just be honest, I've been pretty spoiled by my parents (and grandparents). This might sound really great, but it'd brought on some bad habits and attitudes. I have a shopping problem. Whenever I go to a mall or store, I will leave with something. I haven't been financially conscious either. Not until this last year have I actually been worried about money. I've been trying to "cut myself off" from my parents. I don't take money from them unless I'm in a real bind, and even then I pay them back. I'm working on breaking away, so when I am in the real world, I won't come home crying to my parents because I can't do it. I love my family to death, but it's time to only be spoiled a couple times a year (birthdays and holidays are acceptable).

I've also been guarded in love. I'm just sick of boys that pretend to be men. I'll admit that I rarely five a guy a fighting chance. I have high standards and I know what I want, so it makes things difficult. But it's not that hard to be a decent guy, most just choose not to be one! So if a guy wants me, he's gonna have to do better than "Baby girl you's looking so fine!" I KNOW. Try telling me something that gonna get my attention for once!

xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

Little Miss I Give Up

I give up. I give up on love. I give up on school. I give up on my future. I give up on a daily exercise and nutrition plan. Basically I've given up on myself. Lately I've just been run down (more like beaten down) and just don't give a shit. Like I wrote before, love isn't exactly on my radar these days. I've had trouble with guys that persistently pursue me and then just all of a sudden change their minds. This is only going to make me think that my personality sucks and I'm not worth the wait. School has been rough this whole past year. I started out my freshman year not knowing what the hell I wanted to do. Then I got into the College of Design my sophomore year and studied apparel design. Then in May I had a portfolio review to see if I'd make it into the actual major, just to find out I wasn't one of the lucky few to continue on. I basically avoided the whole subject because it would just bring me to tears EVERY single time I thought about it. So eventually I went to a career counselor and my adviser and have been trying to work some things out. I've gotten to the point where I need to research different careers that interest me. Problem: I'm a busy lady, I'm a tired lady, and I have NO CLUE what I'm interested in anymore!!! I've considered the following: Fashion design, graphic design, interior design, make-up artist/hair stylist, event planner (specifically bridal), florist, elementary teacher, pastry chef. The list goes on and on!! So how exactly am I going to make the right decision? How do I know I won't hate what I'm doing with the rest of my life?! I just keep second guessing myself! I used to know what I liked and what I didn't like, now I'm just a confused mess! I would really appreciate it if someone would just give me a direction to go in and be like okay, this is what you're going to to...because I said so. I'd be like, okay if you say so! I want to work out soooo badly!! Even if it's just for like 30-45 minutes on the elliptical. I just need to do something so I stop gaining so much weight! I used to be comfortable in my own skin. I used to love my body and my curves and everything that made me a woman. But lately I've grown to hate myself, how I look, and how I feel. I don't feel pretty, beautiful, sexy. All of the things that a woman should feel about herself when she looks in the mirror. I used to be so confident, but somehow it's been taken away. Comments that didn't used to phase me sting every single time. Like "You're eating again?!" Or even the slight poke of my love handles sets me into an emotional whirlwind. I've grown to be uncomfortable in my own skin, and it's everything that I wish I could change about how girls and women look at themselves. If I can barely look at myself in the mirror, how do I expect to tell other women that they can be comfortable looking the way that they look? I'm a hypocrite. I don't know what I want, who I want, where I want to be in the future. I don't know who I am anymore. I give up.
xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

Little Miss Down On Love

I admit that I've been a Little Miss Down On Love for about 2 years now. I've only had 2 boyfriends over the course of my long long life, but ever since I hit the college scene I've been a single lady. I came into college freshly broken up with, and I was basically a doe-eyed little Bambi!! Oh if I could only remember what it was like to be sooooo naive! I've been burned more than a few times, but by now I've learned to just brush it off. I've also learned to not put myself out there completely and be vulnerable, cause that's just a good way to get hurt. Basically I've shut guys off emotionally. It's going to take someone that REALLY wants me to even get a glimpse of what I've got going on inside this heart. Guys say that girls are complex and hard to figure out, well I've got a newsflash: GUYS ARE FUCKING COMPLEX TOO!!! Well, most guys anyways. There are always going to be the uber-douche guys that you can just read them like a book!! You can tell what's on their mind, what they are going to do and say...so predictable! You can never find a decent, good looking, good hearted guy out there anymore. They are either taken by some girl (that doesn't even deserve them) or they are gay! And this is just my luck, always seems to work out that way! Just going to give a little shout out to all of my gay boys, I love them!! Trust me, I'd much rather hang out with a gay man than most girls. Anyways, the reason I'm so down on love is that I find it hard to find someone that I'm willing to put enough trust in, someone that also wants me back, and someone that is single (Gosh darnet!). I just want to find my tall, rugged, Southern gentleman. If only he wasn't just a daydream that I drift off to every now and then!

xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

Little Miss Who You Are Starts Now!

I tend to be a person that can be truly touched by a song. Give me some good lyrics and I'm bawling my eyes out! So the song that started it all is "Little Miss" by Sugarland. I'm a HUGE country fan, and there are no other songs that can make you feel like country songs.

"Little Miss down on love

Little Miss I give up

Little Miss I'll get tough

don't you worry 'bout me anymore.

Little Miss checkered dress

Little Miss one big mess

Little Miss I'll take less

When I always give so much more.

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright

Yeah sometimes you gotta lose 'til you win

It's alright, it's alright, it's alright

It'll be alright again."

These are just a few of the lyrics from the song. I saw Sugarland in concert when they came to the Cities, and was brought to tears by this song. They do this thing called the Little Miss Project and it just brings everyone together. It lets people know that whatever they're going through, someone else is going through the exact same thing and you can get through it. This just shows that if you see someone that looks sad, or isn't having a great day, they could be going through something really rough. I say that just a simple smile can turn a persons day around. Spread the love!!

"I stare at my reflection in the mirror
Why am I doing this to myself?
Losing my mind on a tiny error
I nearly left the real me on the shelf
No, no, no, no, no
Don't lose it all in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing
Everybody's bruising
Just be true to who you are."

Another one of my favorite songs is "Who You Are" by Jessie J. It's all about being exactly who you want to be. The ups and downs are all apart of it. It's okay not to be okay. I consider myself a strong, confident woman, who doesn't necessarily need a man by her side to make her happy. I just wish that every woman (or man) could walk around with the confidence and belief in themselves. But enough of my sappy shit (there will be more to come later)!!

xoxo Little Miss Who You Are