On the Outside Looking In

"Being too scared to even try-that's just a waste. I can say I made a lot of mistakes, but I don't regret things. Because at least I didn't spend a life standing outside, wondering what living would be like. " -Sarah Dessen

Sometimes this quote applies to me and sometimes I feel like I'm one of the outsiders. Lately I've just been feeling frustrated with life. School is school and seems to be going nowhere at this point. I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel whatsoever. I hang out with friends every now and then, but I feel like my life could be more entertaining, more spur of the moment. The only problem with that idea is the fact that I like my days planned out. I like having a schedule to follow, being at a certain place, at a certain time, to do a certain activity. I've never been one for the adventurous activities like skydiving, or bungee or even skiing for that matter (I've snowboarded, not well, but skiing just bothers me for some reason). 

Then if we move on to the whole boy situation, it gets even more depressing. I have not been in an official relationship since the summer after I graduated high school. That was about 3 years ago. Since then, I have lost all hope in finding a man to spend my time with. The past two years I've accepted this fact, and even been very okay with it. But now, I feel more and more lonely every single day. It's not like I want to find a man, settle down and start having kids. I just think it'd be a nice change to hang out with a guy for once and get to do fun, flirty stuff! I want to go out on dates, be complimented, basically I just want to be loved. And honestly, who doesn't?!?! Nobody should be scared to love, or be loved for that matter! I haven't been able to trust people for quite some time now, but for once I just want someone who doesn't give me all of the bullshit. I want someone that just wants to spend time with me. I want someone to love me. But at the same time, I'm scared of the future, and cannot think about settling down anytime soon. It literally scares the shit out of me. I want someone to make things uncomplicated. I want a distraction from the shit state that life is. 

I'm not scared of risking things. I think it's a little ridiculous for someone to be scared of things happening. Just because there may be a chance that something will go wrong, does not mean that you shouldn't pursue it. It's the fact that something so great could come out of that opportunity. That's the reason why you should risk things. When you look back on your life, you're going to think about all of the good memories you made. But most of all, you're going to look back on all the chances you didn't take, and all of the things you wish you would've done instead. So instead of having to look back on your life and be sad about what you didn't do, try actually doing something for once. Every scenario has it's negatives, but the positives are why you take those risks!

Don't be an outsider looking in on life. Be the one on the inside, living life to it's fullest! (I know easier said than done. But c'mon, spice up your life!!)

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are