Passion Pit

Maybe I watch too many romantic comedies or something, but sometimes I just want my life to play out like a movie. Because right now I'm stuck in the part of the show where everything goes to shit, but I'm not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. There isn't some sudden twist where the man of my dreams end up proclaiming his love for me.

If I've learned anything over the years, it's that the best kind of love is a passionate one. Passion is a powerful and compelling emotion. So strong that it just overwhelms you. But it's not that kind of overwhelmed where you're so stressed out that you can't deal with shit anymore, it's a good kind of being overwhelmed. You can feel it all over, from head to toe. After you've had a passionate love, it's hard to settle for anything less.

So basically this is my declaration. I'm no longer willing to settle for less than I deserve. I deserve passion, romance, excitement, someone who'll make me laugh, someone that will listen to my endless rants and think it's cute rather than annoying. I just want to be so overwhelmed with love that I'll never think it could end. It's a lot to ask for, but I know it's possible. And knowing that makes it hard to deal with anything less than what I want.

Spring Cleaning

I'm not a huge fan of cleaning, although I will admit at times I'll get this big burst of cleaning energy. And that's exactly what just happened. I spent the past two hours cleaning my apartment kitchen, living room, dining room and bathroom. But for some odd reason, I can never have these huge bursts of cleaning energy and focus it on my room. I'm a very messy person, when it comes to my living spaces, and this time it's gotten WAY out of control. I literally can't find any clothes anymore, it's all just become one big shamble of a place. And don't even get me started on my closet. That is the place where I throw things to make my room look cleaner. I have a problem, and someone needs to come help me shovel all of this crap out of my room!! Seriously, this is me begging for help!!! I just want a clean room :/ Wah wah wahhhhh...

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

Little Miss Do Your Best

Well I figured I might get back on track to the "theme" of my blog. The subject for today, Little Miss Do Your Best. In high school I always tried to do my very best, no matter what it was, academics, sports, extra curriculars. I never drank or partied in high school, as hard as that is to believe. But everything I did while I was a teenager was to get into a good school, so I could have the best life that was possible for me.

But ever since getting into school and whatnot, I find it very hard to focus on school and put in my very best effort. I feel like I've been in school for years and it's finally setting in that I should be done soon, but I am nowhere near finishing. I'm a junior in college, undeclared major, with a part time job at Caribou Coffee. I've seen plenty of classmates drop out of school and just stick with part time jobs, and I'd hate to do that. But at this point I'd rather work than be in school. It's just really hard when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyways, I'll try to end on a more positive note! I do put in my very best efforts to the things that mean the most to me, my job and my relationships. I try do be the best rolemodel at work. Although I will admit that sometimes I have those days where I just don't give a shit and want to goof off. But hey, I'm 20, give me a break! Relationships are the things that I try my hardest at. There is nothing that I take more seriously. I put in a lot of effort to keep up my relationships with people, and I expect them to put in the same amount. It's not hard to send a quick text, or grab dinner with someone once a month. Basically I'm saying, if everyone put in their best efforts, then we wouldn't have all of the drama, the confusion, the pain. We could all be happy and ride unicorns on the rainbow roads! Okay, totally shitting you, but it would make things better, in my opinion.

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

On the Outside Looking In

"Being too scared to even try-that's just a waste. I can say I made a lot of mistakes, but I don't regret things. Because at least I didn't spend a life standing outside, wondering what living would be like. " -Sarah Dessen

Sometimes this quote applies to me and sometimes I feel like I'm one of the outsiders. Lately I've just been feeling frustrated with life. School is school and seems to be going nowhere at this point. I cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel whatsoever. I hang out with friends every now and then, but I feel like my life could be more entertaining, more spur of the moment. The only problem with that idea is the fact that I like my days planned out. I like having a schedule to follow, being at a certain place, at a certain time, to do a certain activity. I've never been one for the adventurous activities like skydiving, or bungee or even skiing for that matter (I've snowboarded, not well, but skiing just bothers me for some reason). 

Then if we move on to the whole boy situation, it gets even more depressing. I have not been in an official relationship since the summer after I graduated high school. That was about 3 years ago. Since then, I have lost all hope in finding a man to spend my time with. The past two years I've accepted this fact, and even been very okay with it. But now, I feel more and more lonely every single day. It's not like I want to find a man, settle down and start having kids. I just think it'd be a nice change to hang out with a guy for once and get to do fun, flirty stuff! I want to go out on dates, be complimented, basically I just want to be loved. And honestly, who doesn't?!?! Nobody should be scared to love, or be loved for that matter! I haven't been able to trust people for quite some time now, but for once I just want someone who doesn't give me all of the bullshit. I want someone that just wants to spend time with me. I want someone to love me. But at the same time, I'm scared of the future, and cannot think about settling down anytime soon. It literally scares the shit out of me. I want someone to make things uncomplicated. I want a distraction from the shit state that life is. 

I'm not scared of risking things. I think it's a little ridiculous for someone to be scared of things happening. Just because there may be a chance that something will go wrong, does not mean that you shouldn't pursue it. It's the fact that something so great could come out of that opportunity. That's the reason why you should risk things. When you look back on your life, you're going to think about all of the good memories you made. But most of all, you're going to look back on all the chances you didn't take, and all of the things you wish you would've done instead. So instead of having to look back on your life and be sad about what you didn't do, try actually doing something for once. Every scenario has it's negatives, but the positives are why you take those risks!

Don't be an outsider looking in on life. Be the one on the inside, living life to it's fullest! (I know easier said than done. But c'mon, spice up your life!!)

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

Putting on a New Attitude

Okay, so for my Creative Problem Solving class I have to wear something different. They showed examples in class of what past people have done. They ranged from outfits out of tissue paper, dressing up as your mom's table, a cast outfit (she literally made herself a cast and had people sign her), etc. So since a lot of those ideas involved wearing strange objects, I decided to go with something different. I wanted to wear a whole different attitude, and take on a whole new persona. I've done cowgirl, hipster, glam, prep, lumberjack, and probably a couple more. But something that I have not even thought about attempting was the whole goth look. I, as well as a whole lot of other people out there (or at least I'm assuming), assumed that the main thing with goth was to wear all black from head to toe. But I ended up researching it a little bit, or at least searching on the internet for what I could and found out that the goth look is so much more than just dressing in black. It's all about romanticism and deep feelings. So there is more to it than just black! You can do deep colors like blood red or a deep violet. Just researching the whole thing made me think about stereotypes and how we judge people in an instant. It's human nature, we've all grown up doing it. You just have to take a step back sometimes and remember that just because you think someone looks a certain way, doesn't mean that they are in fact the person that you perceive them to be. You never truly know someone, unless you talk to them and get to know them. Like this one girl that works at Hot Topic in the same mall that I work at. She comes over occasionally to get coffee, but not once have I actually talked to her, or like asked her name. She's got bright pink hair and looks like a punk rocker chick, which would explain the whole Hot Topic thing. But I went in there to get a few things for my goth look, and she was really nice and helpful. Kind of made me regret not trying to get to know her after all of these months working at the coffee shop. I also think it's strange how a project like this can get you thinking about all this stuff. Well wish me luck, because today I shall put on the dress of a "princess" goth, and hopefully be wearing a completely new attitude!

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

Honestly People...

Lately I've been thinking about all the times people lie. I am in no way saying that I don't lie. Everyone lies. It just depends who, what and why you're lying. Since high school I've grown into the kind of person that stands up for herself, and doesn't take a lot of shit. I do let some things slide because I'm not going to be a petty little bitch all the time. But if I find it to be an issue worth fighting for, I WILL let you know.

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. -Thoreau

I'm sick and tired of having people lie straight to my face. And what's even worse, is that I can tell when you are lying (most of the time anyways). I'm almost 21 years old, I'm a big girl and I can handle the truth. I don't care if you think a lie will make me feel better. Chances are that I will eventually find out the truth. Then I'll just be hurt by the fact that you didn't feel that I was worth telling the truth. In all honesty, I have trust issues and I only completely trust a couple people in my life (and these people are mostly my immediate family members). It's the fact that all of these other people in my life have given me reasons not to trust. It's silly things like saying that you'll text me later, even when you never intend on doing it. Or making plans to hang out, and then coming up with some lame excuse as to why you can't make it or somehow forgot. It's alright! If you don't want to text me later, DON'T say that you will. Then I won't be bothered by it, and I really won't have a reason for it to bother me. If you don't want to hang out with me, then DON'T make plans. Because we both know that you're just going to bail on them anyways. 

I'm a pretty understanding person; I feel like a lot of people don't know this fact about me. If you just be honest with me, I will most likely understand your situation and not be mad. But if you lie to me, I will somehow find out the truth, sooner or later. I'm like a detective, I've got skills that most don't. So if you are going to lie to me, you better make it one hell of a story and hope that I can't dig up all of the pieces! But your safer bet is to just tell me the truth. It'll make everyone feel better. Trust me. 

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

Bazumbas!!

Alright, so after being on a blogger hiatus for about a month I figured I should get back in the game. What better way to start blogging again, than to talk about BOOBS!! Okay, I'm straight, but I definitely appreciate a nice pair of tits. My favorite pair: my own :) I have fairly decent sized boobs (thank you mama!), and I know how to use them. It's amazing how these things can be used to get what you want! Oh the things that I have gotten just for having a nice rack. I normally don't tell women to use their lady business and looks to get what they want, but using your lovely lady lumps is a fool proof way of getting what you want. You all should check out a video by Jenna Marbles, I believe it's called Titty Tricks. Even if you don't have very big boobs, you can definitely create the illusion that you do! And then you as well can get what you want from men! So go forth my lovely lady friends, share your beautiful curves with the world!! ;)

Itching For Ink

So like most 18 year old kids, I got a tattoo shortly after my 18th birthday. Smoking wasn't really my thing, so I thought I'd try something I might actually like. A couple (painful) hours later, I ended up with a permanent scar. I got an outline of a heart with the word "Dream" written next to it. I danced for 12 years at a studio back home, so it was my main passion, hobby, love, etc. "Dream" was the title of the song for my senior solo that I performed at my final recitals. It's pretty much the last time I danced hardcore, and every time I think of it I have mixed emotions of sadness and happiness. Did I forget to mention that I got this tattoo on my left ribs. If you've never gotten a tattoo before, putting your first one where there are lots of bones is not the best idea. It hurt like a bitch! I wanted to pull my hair out, dig my nails deep into my palms, but I did NOT cry. That was my goal, no matter how much it hurt, I was NOT going to cry! Ever since then, I've been craving new ink. It is an addiction. And the worst part is that I cannot for the life of me remember what it felt like to be tattooed! I think that is the part that scares me the most. I've had several ideas floating around in my head about what I'd like to get done next. The only thing that stands in my way is money, time and commitment. I've always wanted to add onto the tattoo I already have cause it's so bare, and just an outline. I was thinking of possibly having some Pointe shoes dangling from the heart, in order to keep in with the dance theme. I've also wanted to get words written on my arm somewhere. "Who You Are" It's just a song (by Jessie J) and phrase that I want and try to live by every day, and I think permanently etching it into my skin would remind me of my goal. My best friend, Jake, and I have always loved peacock feathers. I mean, who doesn't? Peacocks are beautiful majestic creatures. So I kind of want to get a peacock feather to symbolize my friendship, and they always remind me of my grandparents out in Montana. They always have peacocks just hanging around the ranch.

These are just a few peacock feather tattoos that I've found online that I like. I'm a big fan of color and these are my favorite colors all in one place.

And since I'm such a sucker for symbolism and whatnot, I've been thinking of getting the sign for faith, charity and hope. Which is a combination of a cross, heart and anchor. 

It'd be something like this, but with a WAY cooler anchor! I really like the old antiquey look of some anchor tattoos. So these are just some things that have been on my mind lately, plus I could go for a little self inflicted pain right about now.

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

The One That Got Away

Lately I've been listening to a lot of down home country, and one of those artists is Jake Owen. He's got a song called "The One That Got Away."

She was the one that got away

The one that wrecked my heart

I should've never let her go

I should've begged her to stay

She was the one that got away

I've decided that I haven't had a guy that's been "the one that got away." So I'm going to keep it that way. If anything, I'm going to be the girl that got away. One day they'll look back and see what they missed out on. I don't mean to sound cocky or full of myself, if anything it's confidence. I know that I'm beautiful, smart, funny and creative. I have learned to know my strengths, good traits, and the bad. Everyone should know all of the good things about themselves and embrace them! People nowadays seem to focus on all of the bad things about themselves. How they look, what they can't do, all of the negative things that could possibly go wrong. Why? Why focus on the bad things? Why would you want to bring yourself down? I've been trying to live my life differently lately. I'm trying to have a positive outlook on life, trying to see the good in everything. Instead of picking on all of the negative aspects about myself, I just see myself as a beautiful woman. Like Jessie J says in her song "Who You Are": I stare at my reflection in the mirror, Why am I doing this to myself? Losing my mind on a tiny error, I nearly left the real me on the shelf. Believe in yourself, you are beautiful in every single way, you just need to see what other people can. There are a lot of people out there with ugly souls, only caring about themselves and trying to get ahead in life. Live your life differently, be beautiful inside and out. Be the one that got away, don't worry, someday he'll regret his decision. And you'll be living your own love song with someone that deserves you. :)

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are

God Gave Me You

"God Gave Me You" is a great song by Blake Shelton. Now most people would consider the person he's talking about to be a lover, but whenever I hear this song, I think of my sister.

God gave me you for the ups and downs

God gave me you for the days of doubt

And for when I think I lost my way

There are no words here left to say, it's true

God gave me you

I vaguely remember the day my sister was born, I was 2 (almost 3) and I came with my grandparents. That is literally all I remember of that day, but hey, I consider that a pretty good memory for being about 18 years old! I would only assume that I would've had mixed emotions about this brand new baby: Yay I got a little baby sister, WTF why isn't the attention on me anymore, who the crap is this kid, etc. Little did I know, that was one of the most awesome days of my life. I got to play the role of the older sister, getting her to do things she shouldn't/normally wouldn't, getting her in trouble, hugging and kissing her when the moment was right (usually when a camera was around!). When we were younger, we always used to fight. It wasn't until around my senior year/the summer after that we got to be really close. All I can say is that I wish this would've happened sooner, because she is AMAZING, and I love her so so soooooo much!!! I honestly didn't even know her very well until that point. It's a wonder what can be hidden behind closed doors. 

She is my rock, my inspiration, my everything. When I have news, or troubles, I go to her. I can tell her anything and everything and know that she will not judge me like everyone else would. She will love me unconditionally. She has been through many tough times so far. She's had a crazy ex boyfriend, she (to this very day) gets made fun of and teased at school, and dealt with many internal problems that most teenage girls face. But what makes me so proud of her is that she's been able to hold her head high through everything, giving a silent (and sometimes not so silent) fuck you to the people making their judgments. She is gorgeous, she is athletic (most likely playing college volleyball next year), she is smart, she is funny (in the way that she can laugh at herself, which just makes you love her more), and she has the biggest heart of anyone that I know! **So I'd just like to add a little side note to any and everyone that has ever had shit to say about her: you may know her name, but you sure as hell don't know her. If you did, you wouldn't be talking shit. Seriously, that bullshit is for petty middle schoolers with no lives. Grow up. She's going to go on to accomplish great things, and karma is going to come back and kick you right in the testicles.**

She may be my sister, but she's the best sister that I could've ever asked for! She's a friend, therapist, and comedian all in one. I honestly do not know what I would do without her. Life would suck more balls than it currently does (and that's pretty shitty giving my 2011 could possibly be the WORST YEAR EVER). I just want her to know how amazing she is!!! If I could, I'd scream it on the rooftops: MORGAN CHRISTINE PERRY IS ONE OF THE BEST FUCKING PEOPLE OUT THERE AND EVERYONE SHOULD LOVE HER!!!! LOVE HER LONG TIME!!! She will be turning 18 in less than a month, and that scares the crap out of me (can't imagine how my parents feel)! I remember when she used to play dress up with me, we even did a few make up sessions (which did NOT turn out well, mother should've known better than to let us have make up). I remember her little "fangs" that she used to have to wear. I remember her first Homecoming (my last). I remember her first boyfriend (thank God he's gone...sorry haha). I remember her getting her license (still holding the fact that she passed the first time over my head). I've missed a lot over the past years here at college, but that doesn't mean that it didn't crush me to miss it. But I was definitely there in spirit!! I'll always be your personal cheerleader (but remember, the only cheerleader I would ever be is a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader, otherwise lets just call it a spirit motivator)!!

So Morgan, whenever you are doubting your abilities to do things or deal with things, just know that I believe in you. I believe that you can do anything you set your mind to! You have the capability to change the world and you don't even know it. Don't let anyone make you think you are anything less than what you are, which is spectacular! I love you so much!! I wish nothing more than to see you happy, in EVERYTHING you do. Never doubt yourself. (Also, I'm not the favorite. I guess it's a "tie", Mom even said so.) God gave me you :)

Xoxo Little Miss Who You Are